The Theology of Def Leppard
A Rock Song's Take on Genesis Challenged Twisted-Up Teachings
We have to go all the way back to 1988 for this one, so buckle up and put on your seatbelts, boys and girls.
I recall the Sunday talks, as they called them. Kingdom Halls of Jehovah’s Witnesses did not refer to them as sermons nor did we have pastors. We had elders, brothers, overseers, or visiting speakers. The material came from higher up in the organization with topics and outlines already provided.
The McDonald’s of the religious world with one unified experience.
Except without the familiar whoosh of air when walking through the door and the baked-in smell of carpet mixed with congealed french fries.
And we were told of the story of Genesis. In fact, many of you were taught the same things. My Book of Bible Stories was distributed in waiting rooms around the country, including but not limited to photo studios, doctors’ and dentists’ offices, and in churches of various denominations.
Their material was not inherently bad on the surface. Purposely innoucous, it was provided as the gateway drug you never knew would lead to your downfall. It told of all the themes you’d have clearly recognized as biblical. And the artwork is often fantastic. Fantastical, too. The most dramatic pathos splashed with dazzling color, such as the woman representing Babylon the Great, oddly in 1970s purple eyeshadow a la Liz Taylor as Cleopatra, or the leopards with seven heads, as characters came to life in bold display.
Jezebel sits atop a window with painted face and Belle Watling dyed red hair, her hands in front of her in defensive posture as the men come to do their solemn duty. We’re rooting for them and not for her but also can’t help but notice her bright blue eyes popping out of her head amid digs and flowy robes like a John Waters movie drag queen.
She is fabulous, kind of, but we’re learning a Bible lesson here, kids. So focus!
Men with six pack abs, bushy Burt Reynolds chest hair and David Hasselhoff feathered waves fawned over women on decadent fainting sofas eating grapes, sexy glances toward one another also hitting the audience and breaking the fourth wall. These were not people to be emulated, however, and bad things happened where attractive people mingled. Wear your make-up sparingly, women. And not too many rollers in your hair.